Tag: self development

  • My Spring reads & Summer reads of 2021

    My spring reads, but also the books I read up until August 2021. Pre-warning, for some reason this seasons books had quite ‘colourful’ titles. The messages within though were powerful and I wanted to share them with you.

    I will choose books with less aggressive titles for my next list. I already have a few lined up. However, this is my Spring-Summer reads posts so…

    What were my spring reads?

    In all honesty, not much. I ended up having to move house and change jobs in May. Most of spring was spent getting store room and van hire quotes, packing, unpacking, address changes, stressing about money and lack of space, job applications, interviews, organising and celebrating my 30th birthday and lots of other life distractions. There was some good stuff too like baking, moving to London, finding a new job which I started in July, seeing friends and family both virtually and FINALLY a few actually in person. However, this has meant that reading has taken a back seat for a while, I managed to squeeze in the reading of a few books to completion in between though.

    Those chosen few were:

    The subtle art of not giving a f**k

    The Mark Manson book that I had heard so much about, so I gave it a go. Its secondary title is ‘a counterintuitive approach to living a good life’. If you do not like expletives I would not recommend this book to you as they feature frequently throughout the text. However, if like me it does not faze you the messages within the swearing is quite thought provoking.

    Mark Manson discusses; our habits as communities and individuals, how we care too much about a lot of things, vulnerability, failure, relationships, connection, how to choose what to care about and why we should, common problems, ‘disappointment panda’, unhealthy mindsets, self-awareness, our values, choices, rejection, boundaries and so many other topics.

    The book is just over 200 pages long, but I had to read it in sections to be able to digest what I was reading along the way. I wanted to make sure I was processing it all as I read rather than devouring the whole text and getting overwhelmed. It challenges a lot of what most people would probably include in a column of ‘what is normal’.

    I would definitely recommend this book.

    Everything is f*cked

    A second book by Mark Manson, this one is ‘A book about hope’. As with his first, this book features the ‘f’ bomb quite heavily, but not as often as in ‘the subtle art’. A big chunk of part 1 of this book covers religion, spirituality and belief systems in a slightly unusual way which threw me off a little but it gets back on track. It also discusses ‘the uncomfortable truth’, the fight between our feeling brains and thinking brains, Nietzsche, Greek mythology and more. Part 2 talks about Kant, Einstein, the differences between child, adolescent and adult mindsets, personal growth, maturity, freedom (and not in the way you might think), pain, the pursuit of happiness, Quang Duc and Vietnam, antifragility, meditation, fake news, Edward Bernays, Freud, money, feelings, marketing, Plato, AI, algorithms and his own hopes for the future.

    This book is less than 250 pages long (if you don’t read the acknowledgments, footnotes etc) and it took me a long time to read it. Mostly due to not finding the time, but I didn’t find part 1 as engaging as the first book if I’m being completely honest. However, part 2 I got through quite quickly as it was more my style of writing. Lots of things to think about and reflect on. There are also lots of philosophers I feel I should research into more.

    A good read but not as highly recommended as his first book.

    You are a badass at making money

    Part of a collection by Jen Sincero which I so far really enjoy. My first experience of these books was the ‘you are a badass’ which was included in my winter reads post. The way in which Jen writes is like she is having a conversation with you, it feels direct but informal which I love. There are examples of how other people have succeeded and quotes interspersed throughout the book.

    This book is all about improving your relationship with money. Learning your subconscious negative bias towards it and why you think in that way. Techniques on how to find out your negative money talk and how to overcome it. There are mantras, case studies, success stories, quotes, and a bit of light homework at the end of each chapter.

    Out of the books I’ve read in these seasons, this is by far my favourite. I read it in the quickest time and didn’t feel like I wanted to give up on it like I had moments of in most of the other books.

    All of these books I read on kindle which I always find a bit strange. I much prefer reading from paper copies and physically turning the pages rather than swiping through but the messages still got through to me. Having mostly unpacked now (and after buying a few more books as a payday treat) I have access to physical books again. I started on my collection of physical self development books as soon as I finished the kindle ones above. I’ll be going through some of those in the next instalment of my seasonal reads at the end of autumn (this year is flying by so quickly!)

    What were your spring reads/summer reads?

    What books have you read so far this year that you would recommend? Are you a fan of self help books?

    What books have helped you get/keep on track to pursue your dreams?

    I hope the perfect book comes to you soon to help you on your way to your dream life.

  • My evening routine; how it started and how it’s going

    My evening routine; how it started and how it’s going

    For some reason my evening routine has been so much harder to implement and maintain than my morning routine. However, my morning routine still isn’t 100% every day either. I’m not sure if it’s because I have more time to do the tasks in the evening so end up distracting myself more or if it’s because my energy is so low later in the day or something else.

    My aim for my evening routine was initially just to be able to go to bed at the same time each night. 11pm was meant to be my cut off. There were then lots of other things I wanted to fit into my day as well, to feel more productive and achieve more of my goals, visualisations and manifestations. In the end I came up with a list of things I wanted to do every day after work.

    My intended list:

    • Exercise
    • Daily chores
    • Blog writing and planning future posts
    • Check blogging and social media strategies, check deadlines and complete any required tasks
    • Check calendar for following day
    • Cook and eat dinner
    • Prepare lunch if not home the next day
    • Watch some TV
    • Check front door is locked and chain is on
    • Cleanse, tone and moisturise my face
    • Clean my teeth
    • Check alarms are set for following day
    • 10+ minutes on Duolingo – I’ve been learning welsh for nearly a year now
    • Read
    • Activate sleep monitoring app
    • Try to stop my mind from spinning
    • Sleep for 7-8 hours

    How it started

    I started out by writing these tasks down on a piece of paper which lives on my desk. However, I am only at my desk a few days a week and rarely in the evenings when the routine would be starting. Good intention, not so good in practice.

    Another weakness of my evening routine was the fact I thought I would know it off by heart. As I had created the list of tasks and worked out most of the timings it should come naturally, right? Sadly not.

    Turns out when I get home from work (currently doing blended working, office 2 or 3 days a week, the rest wfh finishing at 5:30) after my 50 minute commute I don’t always have much energy. I have the intention of having a 5 minute sit down with a cuppa and a scroll through social media. The next thing I know, it’s 8pm and I’ve missed out on a lot of my evening – oops.

    How my evening routine is going

    After a couple of months of having more ‘incomplete’ evenings than fully successful ones, I have a new plan.

    Firstly, I have decided to be more patient and understanding with myself. After years of either no routines or very different routines, these adjustments will take time. Berating myself or getting frustrated will not help me to progress.

    Secondly, I am cutting down on some of the tasks, or alternating them between days so my days are not always so full-on while I’m adjusting. Gradually then building up to be able to accomplish all tasks, every day.

    Thirdly, for the main items I know I definitely want to do each and every day I have labelled alarms on my phone. That way if I get distracted by social media, accidently fall asleep or loose track of time another way, those key items won’t be missed.

    One of these said reminders is an alarm at 10pm to start winding down for bed. Recently I have been going to sleep later and later due to distractions or starting my routine later than I should. Now I have reminders to cook dinner, read my books, learn Welsh, get ready for bed and for exercising. I have been doing this system for a couple of weeks now and seems to be helping. Yaaay.

    Do you have after work routines? What measures have you put in place to help you stick to them?

    I hope you are getting closer to living your dream life, one step and one day at a time. We can do it!

  • My Winter Reads (winter 2020-2021)

    My Winter Reads (winter 2020-2021)

    This post is all about my winter reads. I have been aiming to read more and do more activities that get me away from screens for a while. My current employment role is mainly spent on my laptop. After work I watch tv shows and films. I know that needs to change. Especially now that, because of lockdown life, when I communicate with friends and family it is also via various screens.

    Multiple lock downs, more time at home to sit with my thoughts. I thought now was a good time to start my reading goals properly. With all the additional downtime I decided to go on a bit of a self-development journey.

    Therefore, most of the books I have been reading are to do with improving myself, my inner dialogue and my future. Sadly though as I work full time, have had far too much time in front of Netflix and got distracted by all things Christmas for most of December it has been a rather short list this season.

    I have plenty of books on my bookshelf still to read. Not all self help but those are my priority at the moment. Once I have learned a bit more about how to run my own business and improve my mental health I will go back to reading the occasional fiction books as well.

    Winter reads

    The book I’ve read over the winter are:

    • The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod
    • You are incredible just as you are by Emily Coxhead
    • Be your own best friend by Chessie King
    • You are a badass by Jen Sincero
    • Do it scared by Ruth Soukup

    Miracle morning

    My winter reads - The Miracle Morning

    Hal Elrod’s story of what he has been through and how he got through it all is remarkable. This book alone has sold over a million copies. There are multiple other versions of this guide book, a movie and other projects in his authors arsenal.

    The Miracle morning has so many versions on offer nowadays but I decided to go for the original. The Miracle Morning is a book about how to improve your morning routines to make the most out of your day. I tried this for just a couple of weeks and I felt so much more energized, more positive and more motivated. I was exercising daily, eating better and was even more productive at work. It was such a positive change.

    However, I’m not very good at early mornings or changing my routine. I got out of the routine and have felt lethargic since. Getting up in the mornings is something I really struggle with, but knowing how much better I felt having the additional hour in the morning to complete my SAVERS I know I need to restart it.

    This was one of my favourite winter reads, purely for the fact I felt so much better when putting the advice into action. A lot of the other books provided more of a theoretical or mental progression rather than physical things to do.

    It’s 194 pages and I would definitely recommend reading it. I’m thinking of looking into some of the other versions of the book, and the other books from Hal Elrod, so may end up writing on those in later seasons.

    You are Incredible just as you are

    I have been a fan of Emily Coxhead, her quotes and artwork for a while and her Instagram posts always put a smile on my face. It gives me a positive version of the news unlike the actual news. I have also subscribed to her newspaper The Happy News, I love finding out about all the amazing things human have been doing around the world over the months covered in each issue.

    Knowing how much I love the content in the newspapers and on Instagram I thought I would buy the book as well. It is only a short read, 174 pages, but it is such a lovely little book. Colourful pages, quotes, activities to fill in along the way and is so uplifting. I think it would make a great gift for someone if you have anyone who needs a little cheering up.

    Be your own best friend

    Be your own best friend

    Chessie King is another individual I follow via Instagram for her positivity. Chessie’s positivity is focused more of body image and self-acceptance. She has also recently been posting about her pregnancy which is so lovely to see.

    Her book covers so many elements within 240 pages. Emotions and feelings. Our bodies. Periods. Contraception. Sisterhood. Friendship. Family. Relationships. Social media. Online trolls. Bullying and lots in between.

    The book goes through these topics and talks about how to become best friends with yourself and how/why to accept your body. As someone who has always struggled with self acceptance and body image, this book has genuinely helped me feel more accepting of my own lumps and bumps, stretch marks and wobbles.

    You are a badass

    You are a badass

    After seeing this book on my recommended lists on multiple occasions over the last few years I thought as part of my self-development journey it should one of my winter reads.

    It didn’t disappoint. Motivational, gave me lots to think about and the way she writes really engages me. I have some of her other books in my Amazon basket and wish lists.

    At 253 pages long, it is the longest of my winter reads but I managed to binge read it in a single weekend. It doesn’t have activities to complete but it does have lots of thought provoking chapters.

    Do it scared

    Do it scared

    I have been gradually catching up on the 100+ podcasts on Ruth Soukup’s Do It Scared podcast on and off over the last couple of years (I go through stages of wanting to listen to podcasts or not). She has some great advice and inspiring guests which all help to motivate me into launching into self-employment. As the podcast has helped me I thought purchasing the book would be a good idea too.

    I have completed their online fear assessment and purchased a few of the business start-up kits when they have been on sale. Ruth’s resources have been quite helpful in my journey recently. Thanks Ruth.

    The Do It Scared book goes through what she calls the 7 fear archetypes, 7 principles of courage. Then it goes through ways of putting your courage into action, all in 235 pages. Reading how my fear archetypes get in my head, and ways of re-framing my mindset to counteract it, has been really helpful in getting my motivation and optimism back. It was actually the thing that got me to search for a domain name and officially start this blog after years of just thinking about it.

    Before the podcasts and these books I had just been thinking of maybe starting a new blog and to work my way into self-employment. Now I’m determined to make it happen. You reading this blog proves that I have begun that journey.

    In conclusions

    5 books over 3 months. With all the distractions I have let myself succumb to it could have been an even shorter list. Hopefully the Spring list will be a bit more impressive. I am still on a self development journey so the spring reads will feature several more ‘self help’ books.

    Have you read any of these? What book recommendations do you have for me to read next?